A$AP Rocky - “Bass”
Am I too old for this? Sometimes it seems like rap has broken itself into three divisions:
* SWAG Music - including A$AP, OFWGKTA, Waka Flocka FlameLog with significant contributions from Clams Casino, casual rape mentions, and court-ordered family therapy. (FREE EARL SWEATSHIRT!)
* VEGAS MUSIC!!!!$!$$! - dominated by Wayne and all the ladies he happily goes down on and asks politely to leave before zooming off in his Scuderia, Drake and his numerous condos and popped bottles that he is strangely very sad about owning (see: subgenre - Sad In The Strip Club/Vegas), but that won’t stop him from mentioning them, and that ASSASSASSASSASSASSASSASS song.
*WATCH THE THRONE - Jay-Z and Kanye Shrug (with Kanye Shrubs) rapping about how they are economically stressed and just doing their best to ride out this global recession in a humble and frugal manner. (FREE PUSHA’S SALMON-COLORED SUIT!)
Is there a place for me in this world anymore? Or am I just forced to hope that Frank Ocean (NOT A RAPPER!) makes something worth listening to (I was tempted to write “hope that Outkast makes another great album or any album” but then I teared up so hard, I couldn’t breathe) or The Weeknd (AGAIN, NOT A RAPPER!) keeps making morally repugnant sex jams (what the fuck is up in Toronto?)
Yep, it seems I have reached old man status. I listen to Al Green and MMJ every day and think of a simpler time when Tupac explained to Biggie “that’s why I fucked your bitch, you fat motherfucker.” Memories.
Minor Update - I do think it’s important to mention that “Runaway” is about the most personally important rap song I’ve heard in at least a decade. And strangely, I think it was an important goodbye to a lot of things, including, possibly…hip-hop.
Shit.
