Lazy Man's Load

I’ve got to shove these emotions in the trunk and then...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:47:45 -0800

I’ve got to shove these emotions in the trunk and then take them out later and throw them down a hill by the hospital.

BRB.

Here are some other taglines: BLACK JACK GUM - For when you hate...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:37:00 -0800

Here are some other taglines:

BLACK JACK GUM - For when you hate your mouth.

BLACK JACK GUM - I’ve got to remember to NEVER chew this shit AGAIN.

BLACK JACK GUM - It’ll make you say “FUCK GUM. FOREVER.”

O-ren Ishii : “As your leader, I encourage you from...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:12:17 -0800

O-ren Ishii : “As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you’re unconvinced that a particular plan of action I’ve decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is… I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY, NOW’S THE FUCKING TIME!
[pause]
“I didn’t think so.”

moviesinframes: Quentin Tarantino celebration day presents:...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 12:34:31 -0800

moviesinframes:

Quentin Tarantino celebration day presents: Kill Bill vol. 2

This is my absolute favorite moment in one of my absolute favorite films.

The Bride: “Are you going to be nice?”
Bill: “I’ve never been nice my whole life, but I’ll do my best… to be sweet.”

And the little touch of Uma Thurman on the balls of her feet - anticipation, confusion, excitement, tension, all of the above? Actor’s choice? Director’s choice? The natural way? Whatever it is, it’s amazing.

ilovestvincent: subterraneans: 7. St. Vincent - Actor Song:...

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 09:26:07 -0800

ilovestvincent:

subterraneans:

7. St. Vincent - Actor

Song: Marrow

Everyone knows about the tremendous crush I have on Annie Clark.. and if you don’t, basically, I’d go gay for her, I’d be her best friend, or I’d just like to be her. I’m very jealous not only of her adorableness and talent but also cause she gets to play and hang out with people I’d give a toe or finger to be friends with. Here’s another album I didn’t get into right off the bat (I loved Marry Me but this one took a few spins). What I love about her is that she can go from being cute and lovely to ripping it up on guitar at the drop of a hat (Have you ever seen her play Your Lips Are Red live? Take me now). I love the dichotomy between sweet and aggressive. If Actor has any fault it’s that it relies more on the sweet side but it’s alright because, despite my preferences, if that results in songs like Laughing With A Mouth Of Blood, The Bed, and The Party then I can’t really complain.

Pretty. Quirky. Bittersweet.

Washed Out - “Feel It All Around” I don’t care...

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:45:56 -0800

Washed Out - “Feel It All Around”

I don’t care what 80’s act it sounds like, I will not resist the steel drum sample in this song. Go ahead. Listen. “Bathe in it, wallah” as Clipse would say.

Suggested Dialogue Revisions to Original Terminator for Special Edition

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 16:55:00 -0800

REESE: There was a nuclear war. All this, this whole place, everything, it's gone. Just gone. There were survivors. Here, there. Nobody even knew who started it.

SARAH: You saw the war?

REESE: No. I grew up after. In the ruins. Starving. Hiding from H-K's.

SARAH: H-K's?

REESE: Hunter-Killers. Aerial and ground patrol machines built in automated factories.

SARAH: I thought they were called Terminators.

REESE: No, no, Terminators are...well, they're a sub-category of Hunter-Killer.

SARAH: The sub-category typified by what characteristic? The human shape?

REESE: Well, no, because, there's also moto-terminators, those are like motorcycles -

SARAH: I'm sorry, "moto-terminators?" Please tell me the computer named them.

REESE: Can I finish?

SARAH: Yeah, and just so you know, if I ask questions, it's BECAUSE I'm engaged, because the story you're telling me has a primal resonance. Except for the moto-terminators, that threw me. But before that, I was picturing the last of our species taking cover behind hills of charred skulls from armies of bullet-proof metal skeletons -

REESE: Yeah, and snakes, metal snakes in the water.

SARAH: Um. Sure. Okay. What are those called, boat-bots?

REESE: Hydro...bots, but it's -

SARAH: God, it's so weird, parts of what you're describing are so elegantly simple and confident and then other parts make me feel like I'm locked in an elevator with a spoiled, unimaginative child.

REESE: I'm sorry the HOLOCAUST of our species isn't entertaining you!

SARAH: See, get back to THAT energy. The mythical energies. Metal skeletons. I know it must feel like you need more than that, but I'm sitting here telling you, you don't. Nuclear devastation, then the computer that caused it trying to root out the last of humanity. And metal skeletons makes sense, because after the bombs don't kill everyone, the first thing the computer's going to say is, "well, I need to be able to climb stairs and crawl through fox holes." Shit like that. Which leads to these amazing, unintentionally symbolic skeletons made of bullet proof metal marching across a wasteland, batting clean-up. And it's still not working, because human beings find their weaknesses, maybe even reprogram them and send them back with bombs in their chests, and so, the chess game continues, it escalates, and the computer starts trying to find ways to study and infiltrate humanity.

REESE: That's what happened!

SARAH: Okay, good, then we're on the same page. Did they try using rubber skin, but you could spot them right away? Oh my God, just picturing that, the hair on my neck is -

REESE: I never really saw one with rubber skin. The first terminator I ever met was a death row inmate who had donated his body to science, and whose memories and feelings were so intact, he didn't even know he was a robot, and when he found out, he cried and screamed in anguish. Then he saved my life. He was a hero and a friend.

SARAH: I'm sorry, what?

REESE: Yes, that's right, ironically, it was the first terminator ever that was the most human, and that saved our entire species.

SARAH: That's not ironic, that's distracting and confusing. Why the fuck? What?

REESE: He had a human heart. And, in the end, he donated that heart to the leader of the resistance, who was YOUR SON, SARAH. Your SON!

SARAH: Uh, huh. Well, the son thing sounds neat. Um. But then there's an army of metal skeletons, right?

REESE: No! I mean, listen, stuff like that may sound "cool" to you, and I guess it would be for a minute or two, but believe me, that's it.

SARAH: Yeah. But add some moto-bots and boat-bots and you've got the new Huck Finn. Sorry, maybe we come from two different schools of thought. I'd rather hear about the war between the people and the robot skeletons for ninety minutes. If I found it lacked something, I'd have you add layers of conflict between the human characters, or you could get specific about the weapons, but all this other nonsense just sounds like "Blade Runner for Kids." It sounds like a writer that doesn't know he's not smart teamed up with a director that doesn't know he's not cool.

REESE: He's your SON, Sarah! John Conner is your son!

SARAH: I just hope you're not supposed to turn out to be the father, because even though that would be neat, after this conversation, I wouldn't fuck you with my roommate's pussy.

-----
Fucking HILARIOUS. This is originally from danharmon.tumblr.com

Jeff Buckley - “I Shall Be Released” (Dylan cover,...

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 11:55:07 -0800

Jeff Buckley - “I Shall Be Released” (Dylan cover, live)

There’s some chit chat at the beginning of this radio show call-in, but it’s Buckley doing Dylan.

C’mon, son.

???

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:27:52 -0800

???

suicideblonde: GQ names Parks and Recreation as Sitcom of the...

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 15:21:33 -0800

suicideblonde:

GQ names Parks and Recreation as Sitcom of the Year

With all due respect to fans of Modern Family, The Office and Curb Your Enthusiasm, when Questlove of The Roots wrote last week that Parks and Rec is the Wu Tang of Comedy, he nailed it. This, no doubt, comes as a shock to people who dipped their toes in last season and left disappointed. We know. We understand. The first six episodes blew. The creative team has said that run last spring was really one extended pilot. That’s true—and a shame. Because it turned off a lot of viewers

But while no one was watching, the focus changed. Amy Poeher’s parks commissioner Leslie softened. The limp romance between Mark (Paul Schneider) and Ann (Rashida Jones) moved to the background. The true lunatic weirdness of the show—from Chris Pratt’s pit-dwelling, shoe-shining, Deal Or No Deal-auditioning Andy to Nick Offerman’s lover of brown haired ladies and breakfast food Ron Swanson—started to emerge. It’s got the deepest bench on TV. (Aziz Anzari = brilliant. Aubrey Plaza is our biggest entertainment crush right now.) The best guest stars. (LouisCK, Megan Mullally, Fred Armisan.) And, of course, Amy Poehler, whose warmth and willingness to totally humiliate herself confirmed what we always knew: she’s one of the best comedians working today.

For all that, though, the real star of the show is Pawnee. Unlike The Office, which exists in a hermetically sealed lucite box of sadness that hits WAY too close to home these days, Parks and Recreation pulls back the lens and lets the town become a character. Just off the top of my head, here are a few details of what we’ve learned about Indiana’s finest city. It has…

–An anti-semitic past that is celebrated in mural form
–A library department that is a group of “punk ass book jockeys” and the “worst group of people ever assembled”
–Raccoons that aren’t nocturnal and tend to attack children
–A sewer department overrun with floozies
–A gay bar and a strip club and a nipple factory and a restaurant named The Jurrasic Fork
–And, of course, a giant pit that the government can’t seem to get filled

Reminds you of something, doesn’t it? Springfield. And while we know that any comparison’s to the Golden Age of The Simpsons is heady praise that borders on sacrilege, it’s deserved. Parks and Recreation is absurd. Hilarious. Packed with polished jokes, unexpected turns, and boasting real heart. Simply put, this is the funniest show on television right now. America, start watching. You’re missing something special.

SIGH.

Are we going to give Houston/Texas/"Red States" any credit for this?

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 13:43:00 -0800

Are we going to give Houston/Texas/"Red States" any credit for this?:

The largest US city in history to have an openly gay mayor.

No? That says nothing? Everybody in the middle is still just a slack-jawed yokel? I hate you guys.

That guy’s reflection is being a real dick about his erectile dysfunction issues. Every pun...

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 13:40:06 -0800

That guy’s reflection is being a real dick about his erectile dysfunction issues.

Every pun intended.

mudwerks: WFMU’s Rock ‘n’ Soul Ichiban!: The Midnight Sun Is...

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 21:20:42 -0800

mudwerks:

WFMU’s Rock ‘n’ Soul Ichiban!: The Midnight Sun Is Shining

“No, no, no, no, no. No, to get even, even-Steven? I would have to kill you… go up to Nikki’s room, kill her… then wait for your husband, the good Dr. Bell, to come home and kill him. That would be even, Vernita. That’d be about square.” - The Betty—er, The Bride.

mudwerks: laura9: (via flickflickflicker) ……..

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 18:41:13 -0800

mudwerks:

laura9:

(via flickflickflicker)

……..

nbaoffseason: Pop quiz! Chase Budinger is displaying: A)...

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 01:08:34 -0800

nbaoffseason:

Pop quiz! Chase Budinger is displaying:

A) Excellent shooting form.

B) The efficient offensive skills that have made him a second-round steal so far.

C) Some of the tightest shorts in the NBA.

I’m trapped. In an ATM vestibule. With CHASE BUDINGER.

mudwerks: bohemea: neetoday: née today: Margaret ‘Maggie’...

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 10:42:57 -0800

mudwerks:

bohemea:

neetoday:

née today: Margaret ‘Maggie’ Hamilton
birth info: 9 December 1902 - 16 May 1985

“Almost always they want me to laugh like the Witch. And sometimes when I go to schools, if we’re in an auditorium, I’ll do it. And there’s always a funny reaction, like Oh geez, they wish they hadn’t asked. They’re scared. They’re really scared for a second. Even adolescents. I guess for a minute they get the feeling they got when they watched the picture. They like to hear it but they don’t like to hear it. And then they go, ‘Ohhhhhhhhhh.’… The picture made a terrible impression of some kind on them, sometimes a ghastly impression, but most of them got over it, I guess… Because when I talk like the Witch and when I laugh, there is a hesitation, and then they clap. They’re clapping at hearing the sound again.”

mudwerks: http://ilovehotdogs.net/post/277907271/bonus-rosemarys...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 23:51:05 -0800

mudwerks:

http://ilovehotdogs.net/post/277907271/bonus-rosemarys-baby-1968

Watching this right now.

WEIRD.

5 MINUTES IN...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 20:10:24 -0800

…and this episode of “Community” is well on its way to being a CLASSIC HOLIDAY EPISODE for JBone.

WHO. ARE THE MORONS. WHO SAY THIS SHOW ISN’T FUNNY?

YOU RUIN CHRISTMAS FOR EVERYONE!

“Knock knock. My fist up your balls!”

“…who’s there?”

I hate you guys.

Zizou and Mr. Charlie Parker

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 18:01:46 -0800

Zizou and Mr. Charlie Parker

"Is that a rock…or a deer? Oh, it’s a coyote."

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:47:55 -0800

“Is that a rock…or a deer? Oh, it’s a coyote.”

- lazymansload